Tag Archive | self acceptance

Things that happen as you start loving yourself

“I love myself…I love you. I love you…I love myself.” ~ Rumi

There is no greater love than self love.

As you begin to embrace and accept yourself fully, you will be able to embrace and accept the world around you fully.
We give what we have and the more love we have for ourselves, the more love we will be able to give to those around us.
True love starts with you. If it flows through you abundantly, it will flow back to you abundantly.
Give more of it to yourself and you will have more to give to others.

What I will share with you today is a list of 10 magical things that start to happen as you begin to love yourself.

1. Authenticity

2. Respect

3. Maturity

4. Self-confidence

5. Simplicity

6. Love of oneself

7. Modesty

8. Fulfillment

9. Wisdom of the heart

10. Knowing
We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born. Today I know “THAT IS LIFE”!” ~ (attributed to) Charlie Chaplin on his 70th birthday: As I Began to Love Myself.

Are you ready and willing to start loving yourself more and more each day? What is one thing you will do today to move yourself in that direction? You can share your comment by joining the conversation in the comment section below 🙂

How to gain Confidence

I’m passionate about the topic of confidence and there are so many different aspects to it and so many different levels.

The first point to look at is around your focus. If you feel that you are lacking in confidence, my guess would be that your focus is on what you can’t do, where you failed, and how you feel that you’ve got things wrong. What would happen if you changed your focus? What would happen if you shifted your perspective from where it was into a new one, which you maybe have to your imagination with, but what if you focused in on what you have achieved, things that you have been successful in, and things that you have done? So for example, what if you started to think about all that you’ve achieved in your life from learning to talk, learning to walk, learning to pass an exam, swim, ride a bike, drive a car? The list I am sure is endless of all the things that you really have done. What would happen and how do you think you would feel if that was your focus on a daily basis?

The second aspect to look at is around your language. How are you actually talking to yourself both internally and externally because that’s a real key indicator of how you feel about yourself? If you want to grow your confidence then if you make a mistake and then you’re telling yourself what an idiot you are or how stupid you are.., then really is that going to inspire confidence in you to have another go or even have an attempt at something new? Look at how you’re speaking to yourself, language is so important. Start to use kind language, give yourself a break, and actually be nice to yourself.

Would you really speak to a best friend or a family member or even a child the way you speak to yourself currently? Yet you would probably want them to have confidence in themselves so because you want them to have confidence, you speak kindly to them.

How about if you turn that around and started speaking kindly to yourself? I know the difference that it’s made in my life and I’m sure that if you started to put that into practice you’ll gain even more confidence in yourself, which again is what you want to do, is it not?

My final thing for you to think about is rather than thinking about what’s gone wrong and thinking about the mistakes that you’ve made, think about the lessons that you’ve learnt. Every single day we’ll trip up, fall over, say the incorrect thing, and get something wrong. All of those things are there to help us learn so instead of focusing on getting it wrong and being a bad person, why not stop and at the end of the day ask yourself what have I learnt today? What have I have learnt today, and not only that, how can I use that information in the future? I know that when you learnt to walk as a child you would have fallen over at some point yet you didn’t sit there and stop. What you did is you decided to learn and use the information from falling over to get back up again and have another go, and you use that information to inform your next step. So at the end of every day, take a moment to think about how you can use the information from that day, those lessons, to help you in the future.

How to give up victim mentality

At some point in life, everyone has had to do something against their will. Everyone has experienced a difficult time when he felt humiliated or betrayed in some way. Many of us have experienced the loss of a loved one, or even of our own health. Some of us have been victims of violence – at home, in school, or in life…
But while some manage to cope with pain, self-pity, anger and guilt, others come to see themselves as a victim. The victim mentality is formed not only as a result of sustained violence or humiliation, but also by the environment. Often people do not recognize and do not even realize that they are acting the victim.
What is the victim mentality?
Seeing yourself as a victim does not necessarily mean that you have been subjected to physical or psychological abuse. A victim is a person, who believes that something or someone is externally controlling his life. Victims see themselves as impotent, believe that external factors control their life, and see life as a wall of insurmountable circumstances.
They feel compelled to do things against their will. They might complain, but they will still do what they do not want to do, thinking that there is no alternative. It seems like that the whole world is against them. Victims always feel dependent on the mercy of external forces and blame them for everything that happens in their world.
The victim mentality can be seen in all areas of our lives:
Relationships: When victims are led to give up their priorities, aspirations, dreams and desires, they lose self-esteem and self-confidence and give up power. Imagine, for example, a man, who gave up the job of his dreams to please his loved ones. He will feel internal resentment that this happened, and anger at a perceived lack of appreciation and gratitude. Even if he feels offended, humiliated or unappreciated in the relationship, rather than take control of his own life, he will instead complain about how he has been treated. In this way, he assumes the role of a victim.
Everyday life: Even in the most minor situations, some people manage to make themselves a victim of circumstance. For example, you might ask a colleague for a small favor – say, getting you a cup of coffee. He might complain terribly, saying that people are freeloaders and lazy and live off of others and so on… In the end he will do you the favor but continue to complain internally about the “injustice.”
But the reality of the situation is this – he has been asked for a favor, and he has to make a choice. He could say – “I’m sorry, I’m not passing by the coffee machine;” he could say he is too busy or he could even say that he forgot. There are many ways to respond. In this case, however, he chooses to feed the feelings of self-sacrifice – “I’m so pitiful, people are always taking advantage of me… ” – This is a victim mentality.
The person with a victim mentality has a habit of complaining about everything – for example, he/she always has to cook, he/she is forced to work for that terrible boss, traffic is always awful… These complaints are hiding something – that he/she waits and hopes for someone else to fix things. The person doesn’t realize that it was all the result of their own choices.
Often, people with a victim mentality will not say anything directly to the friend, who manipulates them or to the boss, who insults and humiliates them. Instead, they go to someone else to complain and to vent their anger with dramatic tales about their rude and arrogant boss, or their selfish and ungrateful friend. People, who see themselves as a victim of circumstance are always complaining and whining. Rather than taking political action, they vilify political leaders and blame them for the problems in society.
Victims are constantly asking WHY: “Why me? Why are people are so evil? Why won’t the boss give me a raise? Why did he/she leave me?” As they look for answers to these questions, they torment themselves and their resulting self-pity only reinforces their identity as a victim. The question they should ask themselves is: ” Why did this happen now? What can I learn from this situation? How can I avoid this in the future?”
How can you give the victim mentality?
First, it is important to understand why we take on this mindset – what benefits does it bring?
The victim mentality brings :
Attention – when we are in the victim position, we get attention, sympathy and support from people.
When we are a victim, there is no need to take risks or responsibility.
Being a victim gives us an excuse to explain our life circumstances. It is an excuse for the fact that we have not achieved anything. We continue thinking that other people have held us back, they haven’t seen our potential, etc.!
Sometimes being a victim makes you feel part of a community. This community grows out of the very sense that they – the others – are ” bad” and you’re on the “good ” side. Your anger about the injustice of their speeches gives a dramatic and even heroic sense to your suffering.
“Poor Me” gives you a sense identity (albeit false). It makes you feel special. This gives you a passive power that calls people to give you attention and pity.
To be able to part with your victim mentality, you must give up the benefits that it brings.
You should also know that creating a new pattern of thinking and behavior takes time, effort and discomfort. Furthermore, when you first begin to change, you may feel unstable, insecure and vulnerable…
But you have to go through this period if you are to regain power and change your life!
Are you ready to give up the victim mentality and live with confidence?
If the answer is “yes,” you can start taking the first steps now:
1. Release the pain of the past.
To overcome your victim mentality, you must release the pain of all those past experiences, buried deep inside. You need to release negative feelings – fear, guilt, hate, anger, self-pity – because they keep you in captivity and reassert your identity as a victim. Forgive those who have hurt you. As I have written elsewhere, forgiveness does not mean justifying the actions of others. It is a purely internal act of letting go of painful feelings. Only when you forgive will you be free.
2. Take responsibility for your life.
The main thing you need to do to regain power is to take responsibility for your life – for the feelings, thoughts, and reactions you choose to experience. Realize that the complaining, unhappiness, and blaming does not solve your problems. Think about what you personally can do and take action.
3. Remember that you always have a choice – we can always, in every situation, choose how to react. At any moment we can regain power by making the right choice.
4. Change your vocabulary.
Change the words in your vocabulary that make you feel like a victim. For example, instead of ” should,” think ” choose to;” instead of “I hope,” say “I will;” instead of “There’s no way out,” think “I know there’s a way and I will find it;” instead of ” I can’t” say “I will try.”
5. Learn to say “no.”
People who have a victim mentality, often have difficulty saying “no.”
6. Change your attitude.
Change the focus – from what you don’t have or what makes you feel wronged – to what you do have and your strengths. Keep a notebook, listing everything good in your life and practice being grateful about it.
7. Taking small steps outside of your comfort zone.
Begin with just one small step outside your comfort zone, and you will begin to change from a victim into a confident and self-respecting person.
The floor is yours – are you ready to gain more awareness as to when you are slipping into the ‘victim mentality’? What do you usually do when you catch yourself doing it? How do you take responsibility for your own creation? You can share your insights by joining the conversation in the comment section below :)

Reasons You Have Nothing to Prove to Anybody

“You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody.” ~ Maya Angelou

Most of us walk through the world with the sole agenda of proving our self worth and purpose for being on this earth. While I know we all want to make a difference, and it’s becoming harder and harder to stand out in today’s crazy world of social media, I feel it’s my duty to remind you of why you have nothing to prove to anybody.

I’ll start by saying it simply.

A hard concept to grasp I’m sure, but it’s very true and only you can deny it. No one can tell you how much value you have to offer, and there are certainly to “guidelines” by which we can measure a person’s worth.

Where we all run into problems with issues around self worth and value is when we attach our sense of self to what we do and how well we do it. We incessantly compare ourselves to everyone else, which leads to feeling less than, and insufficient.
We learn that if we are attractive enough, smart enough, funny enough, nice enough, giving enough or talented enough that we will be accepted and belong.

The idea of being accepted and loved for who we are without including what we “do” is a novel concept for all of us.

I’ll say it again in case it didn’t go in the first time.

I can say this without even knowing you because I truly believe that each and every person walking along side of me is worthy, valuable, perfect and enough.
Here are 5 more reasons you have nothing to prove to anybody.

1. Your standards are all that matter
Stop using others as a yardstick for what and who you need to be. Set your own standards for yourself, and if those are too high then check in with yourself about how you developed these unreachable ideas about yourself in the first place. Having realistic and attainable standards for who you are and how you want to walk through this world will keep you grounded in your own authentic worthiness.

2. External validation is fleeting
It feels good to get the gold star or affirmation from someone you respect or admire. No doubt that this is a good thing for anyone. However, this kind of validation is fleeting simply because it’s not yours to own. It’s on borrowed time, and if you don’t do your own work on owning your own value this goodness will slip away. You want to hold this part of yourself sacred so it’s always available when you need it.

3. You’ll never please everyone
There is a hamster wheel for everything in life, and that includes your desire to please others by proving yourself. There will inevitably be that one person who never really sees how great you are (usually a parent) leaving you going back to the empty well over and over. Know that your honorable acts of seeking approval will be futile with a few if not many.

4. You are good enough
You don’t have to be perfect or more than, you just need to be good enough. Good enough has to be determined by you, and you alone. Striving to be perfect or more than you need to be will exhaust you and ultimately leave you feeling defeated because it’s unsustainable.

5. Inadequacy is an internal experience
Recognize that your feelings of not being enough or needing to prove your worth are inside of you. You may experience the feelings when you are around other people, but it’s most likely a projection of your own internal struggle. Work on this in therapy or with a trusted mentor because feeling valued and worthy completely starts within.

What constitutes approval seeking behavior and why do you think so many people are after it?

I really want to know what are your thought on this. You can share your insights by joining the conversation in the comment section below 🙂

How to give up your inner critic

If you constantly tell yourself you how much you suck, how not pretty you are, how much smarter you should be, and how much more you should be doing, you are not alone. Every one of us has an inner critic, and success depends on breaking up with her and getting into bed with your true inner voice.
My inner critic shows up often and uninvited. Already, this morning, it told me I haven’t gotten enough work done yet (as I write this article), and that I should have had a healthier breakfast (when it was already healthy enough).
For most of my life, I believed that I was not good enough, that other people were smarter, prettier, more intelligent, more talented… I never acknowledged my successes because in my mind I could have done better. None of those accomplishments mattered because all I could hear was the negative chatter of not having done as much as everybody else.
The truth is, unless you learn to master this voice, you are never going to be satisfied with your life. This can lead to downright emotional exhaustion. You can become a doctor, earn millions of dollars, but if the voice inside tells you it’s not enough, you’re going to want to get another shiny degree, or become a billionaire and you still won’t be any happier once you get there.
Here are 5 ways to drown your inner critic and let the real you shine through.

1. Make a list of all your positive traits and successes

List 30 things that are positive about you. Then, list another 30 of your major successes. Keep this list close to you. Refer to it when your inner critic rears itself. Focusing on the positive qualities and successes helps you feel better about yourself, and feeling better about yourself makes you more productive, happier, and healthier.

2. Keep an inner critic page in your journal

Awareness is the key to beginning to curb your negative thoughts. Pay close attention to when your mind starts to trail off. Write down the thought in your journal so that you can begin to decipher thinking patterns and begin to shift them. A negative thought pattern may sound like “Gosh, I’m stupid. I’ll never do anything right. I can’t get it together. I’m a mess. I’m scattered. I’m not as good as she is. I’m a bad hostess.” Once you’ve got a list going, proceed to the next step.

3. Use thought rebuttals

We’re prone to making blanket statements about ourselves that aren’t true, hearing only what we want to hear when others compliment us, taking things personally, blaming ourselves for not being enough. We use ‘should’ and and ‘never’ without thinking of whether these things are true. Next time you write a negative thought in your inner critic page, ask yourself if it’s true? It most likely isn’t, so write down what is true. Learning to get in touch with reality will help your true voice come out.

4. Create 3 positive mantras from your list of positive qualities

Choose 3 positive qualities from your list. Create 3 positive affirmations you can recite to yourself. Or write them down on post-it notes and leave them on your bathroom mirror, in your car, or in your purse. Having a visual aid will help remind you there are some wonderful things about you even when you’re not feeling it.

5. Visualize a time when you felt successful

Think of a time when you felt successful. Recall the smells, colors, and feelings you felt that day. Visualization is a surprisingly powerful tool that helps reconnect you to a specific feeling, and the more you can connect to that feeling, the more you begin to see yourself as perfect the way you are.
It’s easy to disregard the good parts of you and minimize your accomplishments. But the more you can make space to find the positive, the more you grow, thrive, and become the human you were meant to become. Breaking up with your inner critic and learning to listen to your inner voice isn’t easy, and takes real effort and work, but doing the work and breaking free is the most powerful thing you can do to become your best self.

Spiritual reasons to love your body

Physical body is a machine and a vehicle for a physical experience. Our body is the vehicle we have chosen for a particular type and kind of physical experience which we call the human experience. It can also be seen as our consciousness manifested in human form. Each and every vehicle is worthy, because it serves it’s purpose. We did not come to this Earth so we would compete who came with the best looking vehicle! 😀 It sounds funny but we are doing exactly the same thing when we compare our bodies.

There are no accidents and the way our bodies look like is no exception to this rule. We choose our physical appearance before coming to this life. We design our bodies in a way that corresponds to what kind of experiences we want to have in this lifetime.

When someone wants a life in which he is a famous singer or an actor and influences a lot of people, he will intentionally choose a body that corresponds to standards of beauty in that particular society. When someone wants to have an experience of being a model, she will design a body that enables her to do such a job. Teal Swan said in one interview that she remembers how before her birth, her and a group of other beings designed her body so it will be considered beautiful in all parts of the world. Her intention for this life was to reach as many people with her teachings as possible. And humans naturally pay most attention to what is attractive.

But when someone wants to have an experience as an ordinary working person, he/she doesnt need to look like a model. Most of us choose a normal appearance that doesnt stand out from a crowd. In such case we can live our life in a normal way and our appearance is not a big problem for us. Some people even choose an appearance that is considered highly unattractive. They do it because this condition gives rise to the biggest expansion in their lives. Out of the biggest contrast comes the highest level of awareness. Even a disability is something that we choose. We, the ones who came to this earth healthy, often dont understand why would someone choose such a limiting experience. But a physical disability can teach you a lot in life. Take for example Nick Vujicic. This is the story of him I found on the internet:

Imagine getting through your busy day without hands or feet. Picture your life without the ability to walk, care for your basic needs, or even embrace those you love. Meet Nicholas Vujicic. Without any medical explanation or warning, Nick was born without arms and legs. And yet, the Vujicic family was destined to cope with both the challenge and blessing of raising a son who refused to allow his physical condition to limit his lifestyle.

The early days were difficult. Throughout his childhood, Nick not only dealt with the typical challenges of school and adolescence, but he also struggled with depression and loneliness. Nick constantly wondered why he was different than all the other kids. He questioned the purpose of life, or if he even had a purpose. According to Nick, the victory over his struggles, as well as his strength and passion for life today, can be credited to his faith in God. His family, friends and the many people he has encountered along the journey have inspired him to carry on, as well.

Since his first speaking engagement at age 19, Nick has traveled around the world, sharing his story with millions, sometimes in stadiums filled to capacity, speaking to a range of diverse groups such as students, teachers, young people, business professionals and church congregations of all sizes. Today this dynamic young man has accomplished more than most people achieve in a lifetime. He’s an author, musician, actor, and his hobbies include fishing, painting and swimming.

Nick says, “If God can use a man without arms and legs to be His hands and feet, then He will certainly use any willing heart!”

So at the end, it does not matter what our bodies look like. You could be dying of cancer, you could have a physical disability and you could still love your body. It is all about perspective.

How to overcome Social Anxiety

I have suffered from social anxiety for many years and I know how limiting and horrible it feels. So I have spent a lot of time thinking about how I overcame my social anxiety and how I can help other people that are suffering from it.

I have developed a few strategies that you can use to reduce your social anxiety. These are:

  1. Learning how to challenge your unhelpful thoughts and see things in a more realistic light.
  2. Reducing your tendency of focusing on yourself during social interactions.
  3. Removing the use o safety behaviors and gradually confronting your fears.

 Challenging unhelpful thoughts

The way that we think about things has an impact on our entire life. The root of a social anxiety are unhealthy beliefs which are just thoughts we have been thinking for too long. Many of these beliefs occur outside of our control, and can be negative and unhelpful. It is therefore important to remember that they are just thoughts, without any real basis, and are not necessarily facts. Even though we may believe a lot of our unhelpful thoughts when we are nervous, it is good to remember that they should be questioned as they are often based on wrong assumptions.

You might have unhelpful thoughts about all kinds of things. Here are some examples:

Before Social Situations

  • I’ll make a fool of myself
  • I’ll have nothing to say
  • I’ll go bright red / I’ll stammer

During Social Situations:

  • Everyone’s staring at me
  • I’m useless

After Social Situations

  • Everyone thought I was an idiot
  • I’d be better off not even bothering
  • I sounded like an idiot

About Yourself:

  • I’m weird
  • No-one likes me
  • I’m not very funny

First you need to be able to recognise an unhelpful thought. Then you can challenge it. Being aware of the common patterns that unhelpful thoughts follow can help you to recognise when you have them. Here are some of the common patterns that our unhelpful thoughts follow:

Predicting the Future:
When we are shy or socially anxious it is common for us to spend a lot of time thinking about the future and predicting what could go wrong, rather than just letting things be. In the end most of our predictions don’t happen and we have wasted time and energy being worried and upset about them. For example:

  • You worry that you will go red, stammer, and that everyone will dislike you.
  • You assume that you will be the centre of attention and everyone will stare at you.

These thoughts naturally make you anxious before you even arrive in a social situation.

Mind Reading:
This means that you make assumptions about others’ beliefs without having any real evidence to support them. For example:

  • He thinks I’m an idiot.
  • They think I look ugly.

Such ways of thinking can soon lower our mood and self-esteem.

Taking Things Personally:
When people are socially anxious or shy, they often take things to heart. For example:

  • You walk past a group who are laughing and assume the joke is at your expense.
Over Generalising:
Based on one isolated incident you assume that all others will follow a similar pattern in the future. For example:

  • Because you believe that one presentation went badly, you assume all others will follow the same pattern.
What If Statements:
Have you ever wondered “what if” something bad happens? For example:

  • What if nobody likes me?
  • What if I run out of things to say?

These thoughts also make you dread situations beforehand.

Focusing on the Negatives:
After a social gathering, you tend to focus on the parts of the evening that you believe didn’t go well. At the same time, you gloss over positive parts of the evening. For example:

  • You dwell on the one conversation which ran out of steam quickly, whilst forgetting the fact that you mingled well throughout the rest of the evening.
Do you label yourself with negative words? For example:

  • I’m boring.
  • I’m uninteresting.
  • I’m weird.
  • I’m unlovable.

These, often long held beliefs about yourself, ensure your confidence and self-esteem remains low.

Challenges to an unhelpful thought
Now you can challenge your unhelpful thoughts by asking these questions.
Is there any evidence that contradicts this thought?
I never run out of things to say to my friends, so why should this be different.
What would your friend say to you if they knew what you were thinking?
They would probably say – don’t be silly, you’re always good company.
How will you feel about this in 6 months time?
I probably won’t care. Even if it goes wrong I’ll have forgotten about it by then.
What are the costs and benefits of thinking in this way?
Costs: It’s making me nervous before I even go into the situation. It’s made me feel inadequate.
Benefits: I can’t really think of any.
Is there a another way of looking at this this situation?
Even if I don’t have anything to say, it’s not just up to me to keep conversations going. It’s everyone’s responsibility.

Reducing internal focus during social interactions

When we are socially anxious, we tend to spend a lot of time concentrating on our own bodily sensations during social interactions. This is because we fear that our anxiety is visible to others. For example, we may spend time trying to judge whether we are sweating, shaking, or blushing.

Although we do this in the hope being reassured that we are not visibly anxious, this strategy actually just makes things much worse. This is because we tend to overestimate how visible our anxiety is and this of course makes us feel even more self conscious. Also, by focusing on ourselves, we are prevented from fully concentrating on the conversations around us. This naturally makes it more difficult to join properly and we usually end up interacting less well than we could. This strengthens our beliefs that we are no good in such situations. The reality is that our anxiety is a lot less visible than we think. Often we have no idea if someone is anxious or not and it can help to remember this.

Similarly, when we feel socially anxious, we tend to spend time monitoring how well we are performing during social interactions. This too prevents us from paying proper attention to the conversations we are engaged in. For example, we may spend time trying to figure out if our voice sounds shaky, or go over and over the things we have said in our minds. Again, by doing so, we end up finding it hard to follow conversations which likely makes us perform worse. Given all of this, it is helpful to try to remove this tendency to focus on ourselves. Below you will find tips designed to help you during social interactions:

  • Try to spend less time focusing on your own physical symptoms in social situations.
  • Remember anxiety is much less visible than you imagine.
  • Even if you are visibly anxious, it does not necessarily mean that you will be thought badly of. Anxiety is something we all experience and it does not make you unusual.
  • Just because you feel anxious, it does not mean that you are performing poorly.
  • Remember – you are not the central focus of everyone’s attention. There are plenty of other things for people to think and talk about.
  • Really try to concentrate on the conversation you are involved in. Don’t think about how you appear or how well you are performing.
  • Don’t replay parts of the conversation in your mind, instead just focus on what is being said in the present moment.
  • We do not need to perform perfectly or brilliantly in every social interaction we have, no-one can achieve such high standards.
  • Don’t worry too much if there are silences. Everyone has a responsibility to keep conversations going. Besides, silences are ok and do not always need filled.
  • Just be yourself.’ Why bother when it is impossible for everyone to like us anyway.

Removing the use of avoidance and safety behaviors

When we are socially anxious, we tend to avoid social situations (parties, speaking in front of groups, going out). However if we keep avoiding the situations we fear, we never get the chance to prove to ourselves that we can cope in them and our confidence remains low. Similarly, whenever socially anxious people do enter the situations they fear, they tend to use safety behaviors (sticking besides a good friend at a party, staying silent when in a small group to avoid looking foolish…). Although these behaviors seem to help in the short term, they are actually unhelpful. This is because they stop people from learning that they could have coped fine without relying on such things. Therefore, like avoidance, safety behaviors stop us from learning that we can cope in such situations and our anxiety towards them continues.

Because of this, the best way to reduce our anxiety towards social situations is to gradually confront them, without relying on safety behaviors. Of course, confronting social situations can be horrifying, especially given that our anxiety levels often rise when we do it. If you repeatedly allow yourself to become involved in a short conversation, rather than avoid it, you can begin to prove that you can handle these scenarios much more effectively than you think and your confidence will soon rise.


Genesis 23

Chapter 23

Cf. Genesis 33:19 ; 50:13 ; Joshua 24:32 ; Acts 7:15 Acts 7:16 . A discrepancy in these statements has been fancied. It disappears entirely before the natural supposition that in the interval of about eighty years between the purchase by Abraham of the family sepulchre Genesis 23:4-20 and Jacob's purchase Genesis 33:19, the descendants of Hamor (or "Emmor," Acts 7:15 Acts 7:16 had resumed possession of the field in which the burial cave was situated. Instead of asserting an ancient title by inheritance, Jacob repurchased the field. Heth was the common ancestor.

And Abraham

(See Scofield "Genesis 23:4") .


Distance & flight duration time from Ukraine

Distance calculator › From Ukraine
Flight distance from Kiev (capital of Ukraine) to other capital cities is displayed in kilometers and miles in the table below. It also displays the approximate flight duration time from Kiev to capitals of the other countries.

Please note: this page displays the approximate flight duration times from Kiev to other cities. The actual flight times may differ depending on the type and speed of the aircraft.


How to Whiten Yellowed Blinds

One of the most dreaded of all household chores is cleaning your blinds. The smaller the slats, usually the tougher it is to keep them clean. Occasionally, household blinds can accumulate a buildup of dirt, smoke residue and debris that will yellow the light surface of the blind and is impervious to normal cleaning methods. You will need to remove your blinds from the window in order to properly treat them.

Step 1

Remove the blinds from your window by unscrewing the endcaps that hold the unit in place. Blinds are often heavier than they look, so be careful when removing them if you are standing on a chair or ladder.

Step 2

Carefully place your blinds in the bathtub. If you have aluminum blinds, take special care not to scratch the surface of the tub.

Step 3

Extend the blinds so their full length is exposed, and partially open the slats to access the full surface of one side of the unit. You will be flipping the blinds over to clean other side when finished with the first.

Step 4

Mix up a solution of 1 cup ammonia to 1 quart of water in a spray bottle. Turn on a bathroom fan and open a window to ventilate the area.

Step 5

Thoroughly spray each slat with the ammonia solution and allow it to sit for ten minutes on the blinds.

Step 6

Put on a pair of heavy rubber gloves. Spray the slats a second time and scrub each slat individually using a soft microfiber cloth, sponge or thick sock. Use firm strokes to clean from one end of the slat to the other.

Step 7

Turn the blinds over carefully in the tub and repeat on the other side.

Step 8

Rinse the slats well with plain water, flipping over once to rinse the second side. Allow the water to drain from the tub. Examine the slats for any remaining yellow residue. Repeat if needed.

Step 9

Use a hand-held shower device, if available, or move the blinds to a shower. Rinse both sides thoroughly under the spray. Allow the water to drip out of the blinds before moving to a toweled surface (you may lay the towels over the empty tub bottom for convenience).

Step 10

Extend the slats into a fully-opened position. Use a soft microfiber towel or lint-free rag to dry each slat individually and to remove any hidden dirt or grime.

Step 11

Return the blinds to the window only after they have completely dried, and affix the unit back into the cap ends.


Lakes Region EMS is an Advanced Life Support ambulance service, serving suburban and rural communities located just north east of the Twin Cities metropolitan area. Lakes Region EMS has three bases in Minnesota and two in Wisconsin; Rush City, North Branch, Chisago City, St. Criox Falls and Milltown. We serve across an area of about 650 square miles in Minnesota and Wisconsin.  This area includes 450 miles of Chisago, Isanti, Pine Counties and roughly 200 square miles of Polk County, Wisconsin.  In 2014, Lakes Region EMS answered over 7600 calls and treated over 5000 patients, between the two states.

All of our ambulances are staffed and equipped to provide Advance Life Support (ALS) care. This means we can essentially bring the Emergency Room to the patient. The Paramedics and EMTs are trained in advanced procedures and medications to provide emergency treatment for both traumatic injury and sudden illness. With these advanced skills and equipment available in the ambulance, the time it takes to receive lifesaving treatment goes down and the chance for survival goes up.

The other side of Lakes Region

In addition to providing Emergency 911 services, Lakes Region EMS also provides interfacility transport services for area hospitals and medical centers. Lakes Region EMS also provides public education with classes such as CPR, First Aid, First Responder and EMT-Basic.

Is the staff paid or volunteer?

All of our staff are paid career employees. We have roughly 80 people on our roster and about half of those make Lakes Region EMS their full time occupation.

How long are the shifts?

Shifts are 12 hours. They start at 6:00am and 6:00pm. Many of our staff work two 12 hour shifts in a row and work a straight 24 hours.

What do the Paramedics and EMTs do when they are not on a call?

There are a number of things we do during the day. Each shift starts with an equipment check. The ambulance and all of the equipment gets checked every shift. In an emergency, everything must work right every time. The remainder of the shift might be taken up with training, housekeeping, or public education events. If there is downtime they may watch TV, sleep, or even go shopping in the community.

Why do I see ambulances parked in various locations around the communities and not at their stations?

There are usually 5 crews covering our area. If one crew is out on a call, another crew moves to a location generally half way in between the two areas. This allows us to cover the most area with limited resources. Other times neighboring services need help covering their area. Some of the locations you might see us doing this is along County Road 22 and US Highway 8 or the Fire Station located in Stacy.


This job posting is no longer active

Updated: February 13, 2018
Job ID: 213259
Status: Full-Time
Regular/Temporary: Regular
Location: San Diego, CA, United States

Come Work at HJF!

HJF is seeking a Research Psychologist to support the Deployment Health Research Department (DHRD), located at the Naval Health Research Center (NHRC) in San Diego, California. HJF provides scientific, technical and programmatic support services to DHRD.

The incumbent will provide expert guidance on the epidemiologic design and statistical approach for a variety of large human epidemiology research studies conducted by the Department, including the Millennium Cohort study. Duties will include planning epidemiologic studies and designing the study methodology; performing statistical analyses for diverse research projects with complex study designs; working with team members to derive an in-depth understanding of the data findings; drafting proposals and assisting in writing peer-reviewed publications; exercising appropriate judgment in the resolution of analytical problems while working in a team environment.

  1. Provides epidemiologic support for study design, implementation, and analyses of deployment health research projects.
  2. Develops protocols and proposals for study methodology and data analyses. Additionally, writes the interpretation of data findings in the context of ongoing research objectives.
  3. Performs and helps interpret statistical analyses using SAS including logistic regression, general linear models with repeated measures, survival analyses, and other statistical techniques for longitudinal and missing data.
  4. Manages numerous research projects simultaneously. Works as a member of a team to conduct scientific research projects.
  5. Merges numerous, large data files to compile comprehensive datasets for studies according to study methodology.
  6. G. Writes reports and assists in writing of scientific manuscripts for peer-reviewed professional journals.
  7. Delivers presentations to the Department and at various national and international scientific and military conferences.
  2. Reviews and remains current with technical and scientific literature in epidemiology and study outcomes of interest.
  3. Reviews and assesses the work of other professionals in own field.
  4. Assists with epidemiological direction for the Department.
  5. Assists with problem solving that supports and improves the effectiveness and positive climate of the Department.
  6. Engages in constructive actions that support the Department goals by demonstrating collaborative cooperation with all levels of Departmental stair, personnel, leadership, supervisors and colleagues.
  7. Contributes to the team effort by accomplishing related duties as needed.

Required Knowledge. Skills, and Abilities: Advanced knowledge of epidemiology and epidemiologic methods, with excellent verbal and written skills. Knowledge of disease etiologies and preventive strategies. Advanced knowledge in survey methodology and statistics used to collect and interpret data. Knowledge and proficiency in SAS programming. Skilled in the use of word processing, spreadsheet, graphic, email, Power Point, and database software. Skilled in multi-tasking, writing memorandums, correspondence, abstracts, articles, and proposals. Ability to create and deliver presentations to both internal and external audiences. Ability to be a self-starter and work independently. Ability to plan and prioritize work. Team player who can work in a large group including both internal and external investigators. Ability to demonstrate professionalism that promotes relationships of trust and respect while working with all levels of subordinates, supervisors and colleagues.

Minimum Education/Training Requirements: Successful candidate will have a minimum of a Master's degree in epidemiology. PhD preferred, but not required.  Excellent epidemiologic, analytic, writing and communication skills are

Minimum Experience: 4-6 years of relevant, progressively responsible experience AND demonstrated expertise in designing and implementing statistical experiments in a team   environment.

Clearance: If a security clearance is not active upon hire, the candidate must be able to obtain a security clearance for this position, Candidates will access DoD databases that have classified information.


Wednesday, 14 May 2014

Towards a Web 3.0? The impact of the Google Spain judgment on social networks and Wikipedia

Steve Peers

If its age could be measured in ‘Internet years’, the EU’s data protection Directive would be prehistoric. This can easily be demonstrated by comparison with the age of Facebook. The Directive was adopted seven years before the virtual panty raid on Harvard students’ privacy that ultimately launched Facebook. Indeed, when the Directive was adopted in 1995, Mark Zuckerberg was eleven years old, and attending primary school. He turns 30 today.

That’s a significant birthday – but is there anything in the Google Spain judgment that would ruin the party? This blog post looks in detail at the possible application of the judgment to two well-known features of the Internet: social networks and Wikipedia.

Long ago (in Internet years), the Internet shifted to a ‘Web 2.0’ model, dominated increasingly by user-generated content such as social networks and Wikipedia (along with blogs and many other forms of such content). The question I want to pose here is whether the Google Spain judgment could launch a ‘Web 3.0’: an Internet dominated by data subjects’ control of their personal data?

Applying the Google Spain judgment to social networks and Wikipedia

Material scope of EU law

First of all, the information placed on social networks and Wikipedia certainly constitutes personal data, at least as far as it concerns living natural persons. It’s an interesting question as to whether the legislation also applies to dead persons: this conjures up the image of the supporters and critics of (say) Ronald Reagan or Margaret Thatcher using data protection law to litigate over the reputation of their heroes (or villains). But the exclusion of legal persons means that data protection law cannot be a vehicle for companies (or other legal persons such as NGOs, political parties, charities or governments) to attempt to remove all traces of criticism of their actions.

As the CJEU has made clear several times, it isn’t relevant that the data was initially (or subsequently) made available elsewhere. This point is relevant to Wikipedia in particular, given the sources it links to for most of its information.

Placing information on the Internet amounts to ‘data processing’, at least where it is available to the general public. This is particularly relevant to Wikipedia, but it’s also relevant to those social network profiles which are accessible to the outside world. In both cases, the personal data would also be accessible by means of search engines, which means that Google (or other search engines) would be separately liable for securing data protection rights under the conditions set out in the Google Spain judgment.

However, where a social network profile is genuinely closed to the outside world and made accessible only to persons selected by the data subject, the EU’s ‘Article 29’ working party on data protection (a body made up of national data protection supervisors, which gives non-binding advice on the application of EU data protection law) has suggested that the so-called ‘household exception’ in the Directive might apply. This would mean that, since the data could only be seen by a closed circle of (presumably) friends and family, the EU law wouldn’t apply at all. Obviously, though, that exception wouldn’t apply to any processing of the personal data in question by the company which established the social network itself, for direct marketing or other purposes.

Who is the ‘data controller’, ie the person with greater liability for application of EU data protection legislation, as regards social networks and Wikipedia? On this point, there is a clash between the nature of Web 2.0 and the putative Web 3.0, to the extent that the content of the personal data is generated by the users. In principle, each individual chooses how much personal data to place online and who has access to it, and similarly the editors of Wikipedia generate its content. The liability of the social network provider or Wikipedia might arise, however, to the extent that they alter the privacy settings, or could be regarded as controlling (as in Google Spain) the systematic presentation of the data to the outside world.  We can’t forget that in that judgment, the CJEU ruled that there has to be a ‘broad definition of the concept’ of a data controller.

Territorial scope

Back when the Internet was (in Internet years) a teenager, the CJEU ruled in Lindqvist that the special rules on external relations in the data protection Directive should not, by means of the nature of the Internet, become a general regime applicable to the entire world. But in Google Spain, the Court conversely was anxious to ensure that the general rules of the Directive were applicable to companies based outside the EU.

However, this doesn’t mean that all social networks, or Wikipedia, are necessarily subject to the Directive. They are certainly subject to it if they are in the same situation as Google: with a subsidiary in a Member State, which is selling advertising connected to the Internet-related activities of the parent body. But this is surely not the only scenario when the Directive applies to companies based outside the EU. As the CJEU said in Google Spain, the Directive has ‘a particularly broad territorial scope’ and the relevant rules ‘cannot be interpreted restrictively’. So while it is an oversimplification to say that the Directive applies to any entity ‘doing business in the EU’, it probably applies at least where there is a significant local activity (certainly in the form of a branch, possibly in the form of an agent or licensee) by the parent entity, that has some link to its Internet activities.

It is also still open to argue (since the Court did not address the issue) whether a parent company can be regarded as ‘established’ or using equipment on the territory due to its use of domain names, storage of data, and use of crawlers or robots on the territory, or whether the EU Charter of Fundamental Rights imposes broader criteria as regards the territorial scope of the rules.

Of course, there will be practical difficulties enforcing the Directive where a non-EU entity does not have assets in the EU. However, in such cases there might be possibilities to enforce the Directive’s rules by seeking to enforce a court ruling in a non-Member State, or more directly by means of obtaining an injunction to block access to the information which infringes data protection rules. Undoubtedly, such an injunction could be sought against Google, where the data is accessible by means of its search engine, and arguably (by analogy with copyright law) against an Internet service provider.

Personal scope

One interesting question which the Court did not have to deal with in Google Spain was the personal scope of data subjects. For instance, could a celebrity based in America, who finally gets tired of stories about her enormous backside, try to use EU data protection law to prevent access to such stories?

There is no requirement in the Directive that the data subject must be a national of a Member State, and/or domiciled in the EU. Nor do the rules on the territorial scope of the Directive mention this factor. So it must follow that non-EU citizens who are not resident in the EU can rely upon the Directive to assert their data protection rights within Member States. So in principle, at least, the supporters and detractors of Barack Obama or Vladimir Putin could bring their disputes, in the context of editing Wikipedia entries, to the courts and data protection supervisors of EU countries.

While this might sound absurd, in fact there are other reasons which would stand in the way of the application of EU data protection law to such disputes – to which we now turn.

Responsibility of data controllers

Data controllers must ensure that the data quality rules in the Directive are satisfied, and that data was processed in accordance with one of the legal grounds for processing.

On the latter point, one of the crucial factors in the Google Spain case was that Google could only rely (as regards its search engine) on its ‘legitimate [commercial] interest’ in processing personal data, in accordance with Article 7(f) of the Directive. The same provision refers to the interests of third parties, namely freedom of expression. However, the Court held that such interests were overridden by the data subject’s rights in that case, due to the huge invasion of his privacy due to the use of search engines.

Two issues arise here: the balancing test, and the grounds for processing. The first issue is particularly relevant for Wikipedia, since (like Google, as regards its search engine) it must rely on this balancing test in order to justify its processing of personal data, in the absence of other possible grounds to justify it.
Applying the balancing test, the CJEU ruled on both Google’s interest and the public interest in freedom of expression. As regards Google, the Court stated that its ‘merely economic’ interests were outweighed by the data subject’s. This suggests that a non-profit body like Wikipedia would arguably have a greater claim to assert its interests than a profit-making entity.

As regards the public interest, the Court listed the factors to be considered as ‘the nature of the information’, its ‘sensitivity for the data subject’s private life’, and the public’s interest in the data, which could ‘vary, in particular’, on the data subject’s ‘role…in public life’. It should be recalled that the concept of ‘private life’ usually includes data concerning a person’s activity in public, but here the Court does suggest that there might be a distinction between public and private activities. So the balance tips in favour of freedom of expression the more that the person concerned is a public figure, and the more that the information concerns his or her public activities. So certainly Wikipedia could contain a record of public criticism of a politician; but the sordid details of his intern’s (postponed) dry-cleaning might possibly be another matter.

The crucial question here is whether the test can be regarded as severable: ie can it be argued that even if a person is a public figure, his or her public and private activities can be distinguished? In any event, his or her mistress or children are data subjects in their own right, so would have a data protection right to assert independently of the politician, and are unlikely to be public figures. But of course, some spurned mistresses are very keen indeed to waive their data protection rights.

But who is a public figure in the first place? Presumably the concept has an autonomous meaning in EU law, so it is not up to Wikipedia (or the persons concerned) to determine what it means by themselves. But surely the nature of Wikipedia is a significant factor to take into account when developing and applying such a definition.

As regards the nature of the personal data, what if the information in question reflects very badly upon the person concerned? The CJEU did not address this issue expressly in Google Spain. But it could be argued that it depends on the public interest in receiving that information. So while past financial difficulty does not raise a public interest issue, there is a better case for arguing (say) that a woman who has been groped by a particular car mechanic has every right to warn other women against him via means of social networks.

Another crucial element in the Google Spain judgment was the journalist exception in the Directive. It didn’t apply, because Google itself was not a journalist, and the Court disregarded the use that journalists make of search engines. But where content is user-generated, such as Wikipedia and on blogs, surely the exception must apply, given the Court’s broad approach to it in previous judgments such as Satamedia and Lindqvist. So in that case it could be argued that the exception should be applied in practice by the national courts. Indeed, perhaps the only reason why the CJEU undertook the task of applying the balancing test between privacy and freedom of expression itself in Google Spain was because the journalist exception did not apply.

As for the second issue, social networks will usually be able to point to other grounds justifying the processing of personal data: namely unambiguous consent, and necessity to perform a contract. This raises important questions of how to interpret these grounds for data processing, but these are clearly different issues not addressed at all by the Google Spain judgment.

That judgment would only be relevant as regards the processing of personal data about third parties in social networks, for instance a man ranting about his ex-girlfriend on his Facebook page. The way to resolve situations such as these is for social networks to adopt and apply robust privacy policies, but the Google Spain judgment can only be an indirect source of inspiration for such policies.

The right to be forgotten

Finally, what of the ‘right to be forgotten’? The Court derived such an implicit right from the rules in the Directive on the relevance of data (one of the data quality principles), given that it might cease to be relevant over a long period of time.  While this can be seen as a positive right for data subjects, conversely it suggests that if information is accurate (and complies with all other rules in the Directive), there is not much of a right for a data subject to object to its dissemination as long as it is relatively fresh.

Is there good reason for Mark Zuckerberg's own knickers to be in a twist, following the Google Spain judgment? The CJEU does suggest that the territorial scope of the Directive is relatively broad, and as such is more likely to apply to social networks and other well-known Internet services than might otherwise have been thought. But it is not yet certain whether and when the Directive does apply to entities whose situation differs from Google’s. Equally the judgment confirms that the material scope of the Directive is broad, and it seems clear enough that its personal scope is broad too.

However, the judgment is unlikely to lead to a ‘Web 3.0’ as regards Internet services besides search engines, because there are basic differences in the substantive data protection law of the EU as it applies to the bodies offering such services. These differences concern in particular: the very nature of user-generated content (arguably changing who is the ‘data controller’); the existence of privacy or editing policies; the public figure exception; the possible application of different, additional grounds for processing personal data; and the Google Spain judgment itself – since it provides for an alternative, more effective means of blocking access to the personal data concerned.

Barnard & Peers: chapter 9

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Why is day-of stationery SO important???

Romantic Wedding Menu with Hand Torn Edges

Because we said so!

Just kidding, there’s a lot more to it than that. First, let me explain what the term “day-of stationery” is all about. Day-of stationery (or event stationery) refers to any paper accessories needed for the day of your wedding or event. The list is pretty long (and our most creative clients even add to it every once in a while), so let’s start with the necessities… menus, programs, escort cards (or a seating chart), hospitality bag cards and favor tags.

Romantic Wedding Menu with Hand Torn EdgesSee more of this dreamy styled shoot on Ruffled

Today, I’m talking about menus.

If you’re looking for a magazine-worthy tablescape, these are key! When creating menus with my clients, I love to start by discussing the centerpieces and linens. This allows us to create a cohesive look and a welcoming place setting for each guest.

Gold Wedding Menu, Formal with Confetti Details, Circle Shape

Of course, they’re practical too. First of all, receptions tend to be loud! We’ve all been to events where the server has to compete with the music and overall chatter of the room when listing the evening’s entrees, right? In the end, we all end up saying, “I’ll have the chicken” because we know there’s probably a chicken dish on that list we only half-heard. Personally, I’d rather have steak 😉

Rustic wedding menu with greenery details and twine

A clear and well-written menu will help steer those with food allergies in the right direction.

Traditional Wedding Menu, Charcoal text, table setting with greenery and candles

We also love using them to assign seating. This piece of the puzzle certainly isn’t mandatory BUT it is hugely helpful in some situations…
1. Seating arrangements that involve extra large tables like farm tables.
2. Very formal and traditional events.
3. Small intimate receptions with only one or two tables eliminating the need for escort cards.
4. Here’s the obvious one for you… if you simply want to sit certain guests next to each other (and keep others away from each other).

Wanna see more?

Find some lovely tablescape inspiration here and here!

Make sure to check out my next post for more day-of stationery details.

Fat Cat Signature

ps: Here are some photo credits in order from top to bottom… Angela Zion PhotographyJoseph Lin Photography, Ayenia NourKelsey Combe Photography 📸SaveSave


read the lyrics to 'wonders of life'

If it were not for humans, elephants would probably rate among the most successful species on Earth.

The elephant family is made up of the African (Loxadonta Africana) and the Asian (Elephas Maximus) elephant. (Though there is a recognized subspecies of the African, known as the Forest (Loxadonta Africana Cyclotis) elephant found in the rainforests of the African continent.)

In elephant society, family herds are led by an old grandmother known as the matriarch. She is the dominant female, and the herd she is in charge of will probably consist of her sisters, daughters, female cousins, and their young offspring. A typical herd consists of 20 to 40 females (cows) of all ages.Because elephants live to such a great age - possibly as long as 70 years - their social ties last for decades.

The main way an elephant communicates deliberately is, as with humans, by sound. Elephant vocalizations range from high-pitched squeaks to deep rumbles. These deep rumbles, as much as two thirds of what an elephant is saying, are too low for the human ear to detect.

The saying "an elephant never forgets" is close to the truth. Elephants do have a remarkable memory. In the wild, elephants appear to remember for years their relationships with dozens, perhaps hundreds, of other elephants, some of whom they may only see occasionally. The advantages of a good memory may explain why they have evolved such a large brain.

Elephants play such an important role in their ecosystem that, the loss of elephants from an area would cause the existing ecosystem to collapse. When conservationists try to protect elephants, their work has a wider aim as well - to save the whole ecosystem and preserve biodiversity.

References "Elephant Web Ring site" by Denise Hargrove .

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Allison's Book Bag

Archive for the ‘Teasers’ Category

If you’re looking for new ways to enrich your cat’s life, start with these six books on training cats.

Cat Training in 10 Minutes by Miriam Fields-Babineau is the first book I encountered on training cats. The majority of the chapters are dedicated to teaching obedience, start with an overview and then include clear steps for the lesson to be taught. For example, in talking about sit, Babineau explains that sit is a base behavior for many more complicated behaviors. Because cats also have an inherent inclination to rest on their haunches, sit is also a quick command to teach. Second, a reason the guide engaged my cats and I is that Babineau also provides a numerous variations for each obedience procedure. For example, in talking about jump, Babineau suggests one teach to jump onto various surfaces and those of varying heights. Following the multiple chapters on obedience, there is a hodge-podge of chapters that includes information on tricks, misbehavior, and other ways to work with one’s cat such as therapy and shows. The most life-changing chapters for me were those on obedience and trick.s Using the step-by-step procedures, I’ve successfully taught my cats sit, jump, twirl, stay, down, and kiss. We’re still working on come and fetch. Miriam Fields-Babineau has been a professional animal trainer since 1983 and has taught pet owners how to work with and understand pets of all species. In Cat Training in Ten Minutes, she draws on all this expertise to show how anyone can find the time to enrich the lives of their cats.

The Clever Cat Trick Book by Steve Duno is an easy-to-read book that covers a lot of tricks. Cat owners will learn how to teach their cat to chase, sit, spin, shake, kiss, come, beg, down, fetch, and over. For many of the tricks such as sit and spin, cat owners simply have to reward their cat for doing what comes naturally to cats for the tricks to become part of their cat’s repertoire. Other tricks such as shake and kiss might depend on the cat having an outgoing personality, as the cat will need to accept being touched. Some of the tricks will prove more difficult but Duno offers ideas for simplifying them. For example, he recognizes that teaching the trick down will require a cat to take a submissive position, and so suggests teaching it on a table where cats will feel less threatened. In addition, he notes that teaching a cat the first part of fetch is relatively easy, but the retrieve part will require a cat to know how to come when called. Duno is a veteran pet behaviorist and his knowledge shines not just when he’s teaching readers how to do tricks, but also when he’s explaining why cats need the stimulation of tricks and how to account for individual needs based on breed, age, health, gender, and background. Novices to training will love this book.

In the book The Trainable Cat, authors John Bradshaw and Sarah Ellis discuss not only how cats should be trained but why cats need to be trained. I applaud the book’s structure. The authors first present key skills. Then as new training skills are introduced, they refer back to those key skills. In this way, the content builds on itself, and complex training tasks can be understood as edible chunks.
Thanks to The Trainable Cat, I’ve started to develop a whole new training mindset. I’m beginning to generalize my training efforts to include behaviors that my cats need. For example, when Andy and I bring home new purchases, I place them where our cats might discover them but I also allow them the freedom to discover these purchases on their own cognizance. If our cats indicate a dislike or fear of something, such as small spaces or loud noises, I help them gradually bring up their confidence. Or if our cats act in a displeasing way, such as growling over and stealing food, I teach them to wait. At three-hundred pages, with minimal illustrations, The Trainable Cat can feel overwhelming if one is starting out. Even so, I highly recommend that all cat owners take the time to read, study, and apply The Trainable Cat ideas. It’ll positively change your relationship with your feline companions.

Clicker Training for Cats by Karen Pryor is a classic by the founder of the clicker training system. In the first chapter, Pryor overviews the reasons for training a cat, what clicker training is, and how to do it. She also provides alternatives to using a clicker and/or treats. The subsequent two chapters are divided into useful and fun behaviors cat owners can teach their cat with a clicker. One useful behavior that we’re working in our household is an alternative to begging during food preparation. So far, I’ve taught our youngest cat to sit on a stool to wait for her meal. Next, I need to work on having her wait on the stool while I work in the kitchen. One fun behavior we’re working on is building a repertoire of tricks to perform in succession, instead of repeating the same trick over and over. In the fourth and last chapter, Pryor address problem behaviors, for which a program of positive reinforcement can make a difference. She covers litterbox issues, aggression, biting, ambushing, scratching, yowling, fighting, getting stuck in trees, to name a few. The one we’re working on is counter-surfing, and it remains a work-in-progress. Although I’ve read Pryor’s book more than once, I’m still learning new skills from it.

What do elephants, killer whales, and the family pet have in common? Training with zoomility! Or so says Grey Stafford, who contends that training animals is as much about having fun as it is about helping them succeed in our world. Zoomility is divided into two parts. The first part is intended for anyone who is starting to train a new or young animal or “clean slate” animals that haven’t yet learned undesirable behaviors. Stafford spends forty pages covering his philosophy of positive reinforcement, and then another forty applying it to common behaviors. Some of those behaviors fall under obedience training such as sit, stay, come; other behaviors are practical such as crate training, leash training, and visits to the vet; and some are just for fun such as jump, balance, and fetch. The second part is intended for anyone who works with animals and has already made mistakes with them or for anyone who is starting to train an animal with an unknown or unpleasant history. Stafford focuses mostly on those animals with aggressive and destructive behaviors and so, while you might find ideas on how to work with bullies, you’ll need other resources for working with the shyer animals. Stafford adds lightness by beginning each chapter with a personal tale of his experience as a zookeeper, but his writing style relies heavily on training language, and so this book is most-suited for those immersed in the training world.

Naughty No More by Marilyn Kreiger is my newest purchase. In the first chapter, Kreiger defines clicker-training, explains how to use it, and shares its benefits. In doing so, she explains two terms relatively new to me: Shaping is act of breaking down a complex behavior into tiny steps and then rewarding the cat for each correct movement that gets the cat closer to the goal behavior; Luring is the act of tempting a cat to perform an action by offering some form of reward. The next seven chapters address problem behaviors: counter surfing, door darting, scratching, matchmaking, aggression, vet visits, and litter box issues. Some of these behaviors I’ve encountered prior to purchasing this book, such as how to deal with counter surfers and so have already read about. Kreiger overviews ineffective aversive methods, potential persuasive methods, and the effective positive reinforcement methods. The chapter is readable but also thorough, in that she explains the various reasons cats might surf and how to individually train cats to meet their unique needs. Some behaviors I’m just now encountering as a foster parent such as door darting and so need all the ideas I can find. Providing toys, puzzle feeders, and scheduled interaction time were a few options Kreiger suggested, in addition to using a clicker to train dashers to sit. The final chapter covers tricks, all of which could use a chapter in themselves, and so serve simply as an introduction. Kreiger’s book is colorful, uses an abundance of side bars, and includes several case histories. I recommend it for cat owners of all levels.

Graphic novels have grown in popularity over the past decade. In some libraries, the hottest children’s books are often graphic novels. Here are three graphic novel recommendations for different ages groups.

The Boy, the Bear, the Baron, the Bard features a young boy who finds himself whisked back to the 16th century England while exploring an abandoned theater. He emerges on the stage of the Globe Theatre in the middle of a performance, much to the chagrin of William Shakespeare himself. A chase erupts, wherein the young boy frees and then befriends both a caged bear and an imprisoned baron. Kids and their parents will want to study the detailed illustrations to get the most out of this wordless paneled graphic novel.

Lunch Lady and the Cyborg Substitute, the first title in the Lunch Lady series, introduces an uncover hero who assumes the guise of a lunch lady. A group of school friends who call themselves the Breakfast Bunch take a stand against bullies, agonize over what clubs to join, laugh at each other’s food choices, and debate who should win Teacher of the Year award. One day they follow the Lunch Lady home to see what she does when not serving meals. This leads to them teaming up with the Lunch Lady, her sidekick, and their crime-fighting gadgets against a suspicious substitute teacher. Mayhem abounds in this fast-paced madcap adventure, which has been a hit with both boys and girls.

For older readers comes the autobiographical novel called Smile. It tells of Raina who just wants to be a normal sixth-grader, but one night after Girl Scouts she trips and falls, damaging her two front teeth. This seemingly simple incident leads to years of agonizing over braces, headgear, surgery, and even a retainer with fake teeth. As if all this wasn’t already enough, Raina must maneuver her way through the confusion of changing friendships, dating, and self-identity. Although Smile takes place in the 1980’s, it still feels fresh. Anyone who has experienced the pain of dental work and adolescent angst will relate. Just as important, the novel will resonate with anyone who has ever struggled to find their creative voice.

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7 guaranteed methods for sharper images

7 guaranteed methods for sharper photos 2.jpg

1. Use a tripod

The most common reason for blurred or soft images is camera shake. No human can hand-hold a camera perfectly still. If you are using a very short shutter speed it won't matter, but if you are using slower speeds (even 1/60th or so), you will see a huge improvement if you take your hands off the camera at the point the shutter fires.

- use a tripod (or a pile of books, or a beanbag - anything to hold the camera steady)

- use a cable release or self timer

- if you are shooting macro, use the mirror lock up as well to minimise in-camera vibrations

Further reading: Which Tripod To Buy?

2. Depth of field

Invest a weekend to really understand how aperture controls depth of field, and how depth of field in turn controls which section of your image is sharply in focus. Don't forget depth of field is also affected by how close you are to your subject, and what the focal length of your lens is.

Do you need more help with this? Join my free online beginner's photography course here - we cover everything you need to know:

3. Where are you focussing?

Are you sure you are focussing on your subject? Do you know how to switch from auto focus to manual focus? If not, download your camera manual and look it up.

A more advanced technique is to utilise hyperfocal distance. Once you understand how aperture affects depth of field, you can control exactly where the depth of field falls in your image by changing the focus spot. This article from amateur photographer magazine has a comprehensive description of how to try this technique.

4. Keep your ISO low

Higher ISOs will result in softer images, with digital noise artefacts becoming visible. If you use Auto ISO you can probably limit the upper ISO if this is important to you.

5. Clean your lens

Use a dedicated, clean lens cloth for this, or specialist lens wipes. Check and clean your lenses before each shoot.

6. Test your lens for sweet spot, or get a more expensive lens

Each lens has an aperture at which it shoots at optimum clarity - the so-called "sweet spot". You can look these up online, or run your own tests. Shoot the same subject at all your apertures, and examine them closely at 100% magnification. You can download test cards for this, if you want to be very precise. If you don't need to know exactly, f8 is probably your sweet spot. You should avoid shooting at the extreme apertures (widest and smallest), and understand that you'll get the sharpest images away from the extremes.

There's no denying that more expensive lenses have higher quality glass, and less elements, both of which will give sharper images, all other things being equal. Prime lenses generally give sharper images for the same reason - less glass and less moving parts.

7. sharpen in post processing

If you have Lightroom or Photoshop, learn to sharpen effectively. In Lightroom especially, hold down the option/alt key while you drag the sliders, to preview the areas being sharpened. More details here: Capture sharpening in Lightroom. Always work at 100% when you sharpen images, and never work on the original. The amount of sharpening needed depends on the output (print/screen). It's easy to overdo sharpening, so always step away from the screen and come back after a break to see the finished image.

The header image for this blog post was my shot that was shortlisted in the International Garden Photographer of the Year award. I didn't have a tripod, so I rested my camera on the low fence that surrounds the lily pool at Kew gardens. It was important to keep the ISO low, but I also needed front-to-back sharpness, so I did need to use the hyperfocal distance technique to maximise the available depth of field. It was shot with a very high-quality lens (the Canon 11-24mm f4) but on a medium quality camera (the Canon 6D).

The critical part of the whole process was in the editing - it took about a day in total of comparing and contrasting different edits until I got the finished image. A combination of selective sharpening and the clarity slider was used.

emma headshot 400.jpg

Join my free, online beginner's photography workshop here. Get off auto, learn composition and lighting, basic editing and more:

Emma Davies


sofia kelli

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FREE Prompt mat to help teach your students how to answer wh questions.

I've got a FREEBIE for you! Need a prompt mat to help teach how to answer wh questions? This should help! It's a simple, one-page prompt mat with visuals to help your students understand how to answer each type of wh question.


My Creativity

Something in your life will always tell your story, so you might as well have control over it. For me, creativity gave me control in the world where because of my diagnosis I had no control. A South American poet said, “Take away someone’s creativity and you take away their humanity. Give someone back their creativity and you give back their life.” Everyone has their own story and the power to change that story as well.

As for my life now, I can choose how it ends. I may have had no choice in how it started, but now I can choose the characters, the dialogue and the plot.  I realized that before this I wasn't writing my life story - pain, past, psychiartry, pedophilla, parent was. None of them could even write a Pot Noodle ad, so why was I giving them power to write my story? Each act of creativity is taking a tiny part of my soul back. You must inspire command of your narrative in any way possible. Creativity is my way of doing just that.


London  - Two turtle doves may soon be the most precious gift you could give anyone for Christmas, as along with nearly 100 other types of British bird, they are in real danger of going extinct.
Its numbers have declined by 96 per cent in just 40 years, and experts have warned there could be none left within a decade. The marsh warbler and red-backed shrike also appear to be on their last wings, while birds like the wryneck - a tiny brown woodpecker - and the beautiful golden oriole are believed to be close to or have already died out.
This disheartening news comes from the RSPB’s rare breeding birds panel, who have been compiling a list of Britain’s rarest birds for 40 years - a list which now stands at nearly 100 names long. The last estimate of Britain’s turtle dove population was made in 2009 and had their numbers at around 28,000, but the RSPB say their numbers are halving every six years, meaning the number is now closer to 14,000, and they could soon be gone for good.
Declining at a similarly rapid rate is the willow tit - a once common bird whose numbers have plummeted in the last nine years, and now carries the unwanted tag of Britain’s quickest declining bird. Since 1995, there has been an 83 per cent drop in its numbers. The RSPB’s list includes species whose numbers are believed to be less than 2,000 pairs.
Among its most vulnerable are the common scoter, a dark seaduck mostly found in Scotland of which there were thought to be 39 breeding pairs in 2012, and the Slavonian grebe, a bird with golden tufts on its black head whose numbers were at 34 breeding pairs.
Songbird the marsh warbler was down to just seven pairs in 2012 - compared with 73 when the report started in 1973 - while the red backed shrike, a bird with a blue head and black stripe across its face, is down to its last few pairs. The RSPB report refers to numbers from 2012 - a year which proved bad for birds because of a stormy spring and summer - including the wettest June for 100 years - damaging trees and causing flooding.
Dr Mark Eaton, chair of the RSPB panel, told the Observer: ‘A lot of species can accommodate a bad year but it’s if we get into a pattern then there are problems. ‘We know certain species have been seriously impacted by changes in our farming. Intensification has reduced the availability of wild flower seeds they depend on. Many birds thrive in marginal areas around farms, in scrub and thick hedges, but these types of places are disappearing.’
It is not just Britain’s weather that has had an effect on our birds though. Migrating birds, which include the turtle dove and golden oriole, have also been hit hard by deforestation in Africa destroying their habitat. There is a similar problem in the British countryside, with the decline in the amount of dense woodland leading to a similar drop in numbers of even our most common birds. Other birds suffering as a result of some of these factors are birds of prey such as the red kite, honey buzzard and short-eared owl - though these are not diminishing at the same rate as the turtle dove.


Sheep Time Well Spent

To sit and be with sheep a few extra moments is always time well spent in a day.
These two ewes are curious about me sitting low in the grass, waiting to take their photo.

They catch my attention because of their contrasting black and white faces grazing side by side.

Both of them watch me with curiosity as they graze closer and closer.

The white faced girl lifts her nose to scent me just like I see the dogs do.

They are unhurried and unworried, completely unaware of photography or their own beauty.


Advantages of Having Security Systems

Security systems are becoming essential in not only commercial buildings but also residential buildings to ensure that the security of the people in the premises is paramount and any form of theft is traced. In the current times, it is not enough to have security personnel's to provide the desired security standards thus it is important to complement their roles with security systems to attain top-notch security. By making investments in security systems you ensure that the security of your home or business is not easy to breach and also there are additional uses of security systems such as monitoring the safety of children, elderly parents and controlling so systems automatically.

For one to have a well functioning security system it is important to ensure that they have integrated security systems that has video surveillance, access control and intrusion alarms. It is critical to have security systems for businesses to ensure that they optimize the use of cost effective measures that can prevent the business to experience losses. Here are the benefits of having security systems at your property to raise the security standards around the clock.

Security system play a critical role in preventing theft in businesses and break-ins at residential properties. It is important to note that security systems play a critical role in ensuring thieves avoid places where there is security surveillance and assign of security surveillance at the entrance of a building is good enough to keep theft away from the premises. No matter the fact that theft is done by insiders or outsiders of a business systems plays a critical role in ensuring that the culprits are identified and apprehended against formidable evidence. Read more at this Security Blog

The other benefit of security systems is that they are used to monitor what is happening at different locations at real time to ensure that everything is running smoothly. For home security systems one can ensure that routine duties are carried out on time and for businesses it is easier for the management to monitor the smooth operation and conduct of employees when physically absence.

Also the systems are vital in ensuring that there is easier conflict breach without altering the system which is easily to notice and any attempt will raise alarm of a mull-practice. Conflict involving internal and external burglary can easily be noticed ensuring that relevant measures are taken to stop the theft or even to serve justice in courts of law. More info about ADT Home Security Systems

Another benefit that security systems can be used for by employers if reviewing the conduct of the employees in their respective duties to address unwanted action at work, unwanted actions at work, increase productivity, enhance employee performance and increase customer satisfaction.


Inefficiencies In Connecting To The Engineering Marketplace

The principal role of an engineering consulting firm is to connect engineers to their clients. Unfortunately, the manner in which we make these connections has much inefficiency, in my opinion. This inefficiency increases our cost of doing business and limits the size of the marketplace that can be accessed by a given engineer or group of engineers.

When we constrain the size of the potential marketplace for an engineer or group of engineers, we are also constraining our ability to maximize their effect on the marketplace.Over the next several postings, I would like discuss business growth strategies that address these inefficiencies and effectively remove these marketplace constraints. The intention is to present ideas that can be used by smaller and larger engineering firms to increase both their market share and profitability.

As a starting point, I would like to present some general observations regarding the inefficient manner in which we connect engineers to the marketplace.Keep in mind that these are general and that there are going to be exceptions.

Observation 1) Very talented engineers are often found in local and regional firms. However, they are locked into servicing their firm’s clients on smaller and less complex projects. When they have the opportunity to be involved in larger projects, their roles tend to be minor and are assigned by larger national or international firms who are serving as the first tier suppliers. This participation is often the result of the need to meet governmental quotas for small firm participation. Thus, talented engineers in local and regional firms are often restricted in their impact on larger projects and are limited in the nature of the clients they typically service.

Observation 2) Small business owners and managers are among the most talented and resourceful project managers available in the marketplace. However, because of the nature of their clients and the size of their businesses, these managers typically run small to moderate-sized projects. When considered together, the combined complexity and inter-dependencies of these projects (in terms of allocating resources and getting the work done) rival the most complex engineering projects in the marketplace.

Observation 3) Due to their close physical proximity to communities and clients, the owners, managers and engineers of these local and regional firms are among the first to know when new projects are being conceived, even among larger clients. Hence, they could represent a valuable front-line in a coordinated marketing strategy. Unfortunately, they don’t typically have the level of specialization and manpower necessary to effectively pursue some of the more complex and challenging projects, even though they may be first on the scene. I have heard of instances where they have actually turned down larger projects because of their constraints.

Observation 4) Talented engineers in large firms are effectively “locked-out” of working on most small and midsized projects. They typically work on larger projects for their firm’s clients. Thus, they are also effectively limited in the nature of the clients they typically service.

Observation 5) Given the size of large engineering firms, it is necessary to maintain a large volume of work to “feed” the staff. This need causes them to naturally pursue larger and more complex projects. When there is a downturn in the marketplace, the large staff size results in a large drain on profits.

Observation 6) Large engineering firms tend to carry more staff per anticipated volume of work when compared with smaller firms. Large firms typically have the profits available to “carry” staff through business lulls and they have the ability to distribute work among offices in order to adjust to these lulls.

Observation 7) Local and regional firms are limited in the amount of work that they can distribute. Since they have lower operating profits and do not have the ability to widely distribute work, they tend to carry less staff per anticipated volume of work as compared with larger firms. As result, when the work load picks up, engineers in smaller firms are typically asked to accommodate higher work volumes through longer hours rather than hiring additional staff.

Observation 8) When engineering firms or offices within the same engineering firm share work, the fundamental basis of this work sharing is some measure of quantity and quality of hours. Unfortunately, when work sharing is based upon hours, quality assurance and quality control issues can become acute and result in even higher inefficiencies. These inefficiencies in work performance from one firm (or office) are thus transmitted directly to the project budget without sufficient control of the project manager.

Each of these observations represents one or more constraints being placed upon the way that we connect our engineers to the marketplace. The more constraints we place on a natural system, the more we constrain the optimal solution.

Ideally, the optimal manner for an engineer to connect to the marketplace would be to have full access to all potential projects and clients and to be able to offer engineering services using the most cost efficient and effective delivery system. Since most engineering firms have similar cost structures and we are effectively limiting the types of projects and clients that we can access (whether we are in a smaller or larger firm) we are all in the boat.

I would welcome comments and discussion on these observations.

In future postings I will present business growth strategies aimed at addressing these inefficiencies. It will, however, require us to think outside-of-the-box.

Glen R. Andersen, ScD, PE

Why Do We Discourage Productivity?

Why would we compensate employees in a manner that discourages productivity?

productivity discouragement curve

Glen R. Andersen, ScD, PE

The Optimum Manager Released!

The Optimum Manager – Released!

Use the Coupon Code VH79Z for a complimentary copy.

Is it Better to Measure Employee Performance by Time or by Tasks?

Let’s explore a very important and fundamental question about the employee performance management process.  “Is it better to measure employee performance by time spent or by tasks completed?” In my opinion, the answer is unreservedly “Tasks Completed!” We should measure employee performance by the number and types of tasks completed correctly over a specified time interval. Thus, time should become of secondary importance to performance management rather than of primary importance as it is now used.

An ideal employee performance management process should measure both competency and productivity. Competency is best measured at the end of each task when a manager reviews it for correctness, and as such should be measured continuously. A direct measure of productivity should be based upon the total labor value of all tasks that can be completed correctly by a given employee over a given time interval. One such measure can be the difference between the total labor value of all tasks completed and the total employee compensation received. With these two measures of employee performance, each employee will have a clear and unambiguous understanding of where he stands at all times and can become the master of his own most important commodity; time.

Regrettably, most employee performance management processes are built upon some measurement of total time spent at work, total time spent on billable tasks, and total time spent on nonbillable tasks. We typically measure employee performance on an annual basis during formal reviews. Competency in these reviews is a secondary metric determined long after the tasks that can demonstrate it have been completed. We try to associate competency with types of projects completed and do so in a subjective manner. We also measure employee productivity in these annual reviews; but typically as an agglomerate of various subjective measures such as: opinions from direct supervisors; opinions from group members who work closely with the employee; profitability of projects worked on; or, overall productivity of the group with an assessment of each employee’s individual contribution. The result is at best a highly subjective and very approximate snapshot of any given employee’s performance on an annual basis.

So long as an employee is performing adequately, this highly subjective and very approximate measure of performance is sufficient. However, with an underperforming employee, there is a lot of potential gray area that opens our businesses up to the potential for costly legal action if that employee must be terminated.

In addition to the challenges just described in measuring employee performance, our reliance on time as the fundamental unit of measure sends a very powerful negative unspoken message to our employees:

“Your time spent on the job is most important! Make sure that you charge enough billable hours to meet your utilization goal each week.”

Unfortunately, when we measure billable time, we tend to get more billable time. If all employees are sufficiently motivated to optimize the use of their billable time, then such an outcome is entirely acceptable. However, we see ample evidence that such is not the case in normal businesses. Various research institutions have been tracking levels of employee engagement over the years and have concluded that only a small fraction of employees in a typical business are engaged. The vast majority of employees are disengaged or actively disengaged (

By changing the primary focus of our employee performance management process to the completion of tasks correctly and by assigning a labor value to each of these tasks, we can avoid the pitfalls just described above. If we track the types of tasks that have been completed correctly and require each employee to work their tasks until they are correct, we can measure competency directly and routinely throughout the year as each task is completed. If we track the labor values for all tasks that are completed correctly over a fixed time interval and use these in a direct comparison to an employee’s total compensation, we can unambiguously measure productivity.

Using this measure of productivity, an employee can be rewarded dollar for dollar when the labor value of all of his tasks completed correctly exceeds his total compensation. Employees that understand their level of competency by direct feedback from their manager at the completion of each task, that have an unambiguous measure of productivity, and that are rewarded directly for that productivity will be able to optimize the use of their time to achieve a desired level of compensation and/or amount of time off while significantly increasing their productivity and consequently the profitability of the business.

Glen R. Andersen, ScD, PE

Author of “The Optimum Manager

Available at